when you get married everyone asks, “when are you thinking of having children?”
it is a predictable question, like comments about the weather in an awkward silence.
when you find yourself with a child, everyone asks, “when are you thinking of having another?”
or at least that is what everyone asks me.
so here is the answer:
(wait, at least three of you now think i am going to tell you i am pregnant. i am not. promise.)
ok here is the answer: i don’t know.
that was just the first part of the answer. here is the second: i am ok with the fact that i don’t know.
there is like this unspoken thing with moms. it is that if i have more kids, i am more capable, more valuable, my life has more worth. maybe i am just reading into it, but that seems why people ask when we are having more. it feels like someone is asking you when you are getting a promotion. “when are you going to the next level?” it immediately makes me feel like where i am is unacceptable. that i should strive for more. it is sad that someone’s questions could make me feel so worthless.
before we had Shilah people would say things like, “oh, well you will understand when you have kids.” like having a child gives you some special powers. it does not. oh, wait – i don’t barf when i get diarrheaed-on anymore. is that the special understanding you were talking about? i am sure that it is not. sure, we have a child and there are some things i have come to understand that i did not before, but everyone comes to understand new things with each new day in life. having a child does not make me better or more valuable than someone without a child.
the fact is, i am content. i am content to sit where i am and wait until God lets us know what’s next. it is funny that we even ask people when they’re having more kids like life is created outside of the hand of God.
if we believe what is written for our us and for own children, “for you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb….My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them,” (Ps 139:13, 15-16) then we must believe that we are where we are because we are supposed to be here. if God wrote each of the days that were formed for our children….well then we dont have more kids or other kids or any kids because we’re not to that date where they have been written. that’s it. so go do what you’re supposed to do today and not wish there was something else written for you (and don’t imply to someone else that they should be wishing for something different)!
and e, as you wait for the days written for your child to come, i will enjoy my time waiting with you. we have wonderful husbands and wonderful babies and wonderful each-others to wait with. i am excited to see the joy in each day with you until THE day 
Love this post Morgan~ so incredibly true! I am SURE I’ve asked this question to people before… and often, we don’t know the circumstances. For instance, one of Steve’s cousins had one kiddo and had been hoping for another child for years. That question made her insides hurt
Anyway! I really appreciate the perspective 
Amen.
I am sure I have asked you when you are having more kids but it’s just because I am looking for vindication that it’s OK to be happy right now with just Riddles. Not because I want you to have more kids.
And I am so so happy with just Riddles today. Might be that way forever. Or I might want another baby tomorrow. I’m not going to worry about it.
))
I am happy with Riddles, too
I know, crazy. Everything could change tomorrow, right? That’s the beauty in all of it, I think 
so true! i often feel inadequate as a stay at home mom because i “only” have one child. it’s sad that i let that kind of thinking affect the way i feel about myself and the role God has me in right now. good thoughts
I’m 100000% sure I’ve asked you this no less than 3 times. And never had any idea that I was making you feel like a loser. What the?!
But really, it is because I want you to have more kids. There. I said it. Maybe no else wants you to, but I do. I love some little Shilah, and I can’t wait for more little Norris babies running around. Even though you’re no better or worse of a mom with 1 baby or 5.
And thanks for waiting with me…. because I know you can’t wait for more Knox babies either.
I feel like you can ask any question when you know someone’s heart. If you didn’t ask me, no one would.
What kills me is people you really don’t know. Like supermoms at the grocery store with a flock of children or moms that you met once and see a year later and now you’re comparing whose kid is developing faster, and oh, they were so successful at the first one that they’re pregnant again.
Of course we need more little shilah’s later
And, you and Ben are the proof of babies made by the hand of God…you are both such a blessing to us!
We love where you are, we are excited about where God is going to take you guys, and we have no idea where that is.
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